Thursday, February 5, 2009
10:20 PM
sO faSt.. 1 yr le.. 31st Jan 09.. my Pa Pa 1st yr death annivesary..Remembered how happi he was when he came back from visiting my auntys and uncle at kOta Tinggi.. Remembered how happi he was when he related where they hv been to and wat they had seen..Remembered how happi he was to start work de next morning and askin my mum for his new clothes and shOes..Remembered i wOke up with chicken pOx dat morning.Remembered Pa Pa said, " Ger, if dOc cfm is chicken pOx, dUn get caught in de rain hor..."ThOse were his last words to me..He had always doted on me since young. Being a gd father, giving and fulling wat his children wants and needs. Knowing i'm not very gd wif books... nO matter how hard i tried.. de midnight oils i had bUrnt ( enUff to bUrn dOwn a HDB flat or my neighbOurhood) .. i cOuld onli passed wif bOrderlines..And Pa Pa never exert pressure on me..He dUn dO hse chOres.. dUn cOOk.. de typical tradition NAN REN in de hOuse. But he is a gd father. Remembered my mum once told me, " Pa Pa no licence. nO mOney buy car.. bUt he said will not let me lead a difficult life." True to his prOmise to mum, wherever we go, we took taxi. Though we nOe its not cheap, deep in my heart, i nOe Pa Pa is giving his loved ones de beSt he could afford.De days when he cycled me to tuition, bringing mum's cooked dinner and waitin for me to finish de food under the void deck.. cycling back hOme and back to fetch me when my tuition finished.. thOse were de memorable days..In de hOspital, watching Pa Pa lying on de bed. Touching his gradually cold face. Calling for him again and again. Hoping and praying he would open his eyes and said everything's alright. But our prayers were not answered. seeing mum squatting outside and crying.. It pained my heart and i could just onli standing by de door and weep. Right now, helping mum to be strOng. Getting her to be on her feet again. And us. I seldom mention Pa Pa to anyone anymore.
Not dat i dun miss him.. nOt dat i Not clOse to hIm..How can i ever get over de death of my dearest Pa Pa?! But somehOw, whenever i tried to think baCk, my head became blank.. and onli de images of him lying on de hOspital bed came into my mind.. de pain was unbearable...
Reali wan to express my gratutite towards thOse ppl whO reali feel for us.. my Ah Choo ah yi, ah bee ah yi etc.. dey did alot.. sacrifice alot.. gettin misunderstood by thoSE hypocrites from Pa Pa's side of family... whO brainwashed pple ard them.. U HYPOCRITES!! U THINK WE DIN SEE THRU ALL DE THINGS U DO DURING PAPA'S WAKE?! BOTH U ALREADY HAD SO MUCH MONEY LE.. WAT ELSE U WAN?! ITS MY MUM'S STALL OK! UNDER MUM'S NAME! DE LAST THING PA PA LEFT FOR HER, FOR US! HOW CRUEL CAN U PPL BE?! U BELIEVE IN KARMA?WAT GOES ARD COMES ARD... @#$%^&*^%$#@!#$%Anyway, thnx for all de pple who helped us along the way.. =)fOR Pa Pa:Lao ba...so many images come to mindwhenever I speak your name; It seems without you in my lifethings have never been the same.Lao ba, some days I hear your voiceand turn to see your face; Yet in my turning...it seemsthe sound has been erased.Lao ba, if I could turn back timeand once more hear your voice;I'd tell you that out of all the dadsyou would still be my choice.Please always know I love youand no one can take your place; Years may come and gobut your memory will never be erased.You Beloved Daughter
