> Shrouded in darkness;

~~Thursday, November 5, 2009~~

10:39 PM

他，是个脾气不怎么好的人。

他，是个不把任何人放在眼里的人。

他，总是喜欢别人听他的话，随他意思走。

是的，他是个不折不扣的大男人。。。

而这个大男人，却是扰乱我思绪，无时无刻在我脑海里打转的人。

他脾气不好，但总是嘴硬心软。

他不把人放在眼里，却会无意间感到他的关心，担心。

他喜欢别人听他的话，甚至有时像个暴君（哈哈），但也有稚气，撒娇的时候。

是的，他就是那么让人捉摸不定的大男人。。。

自从认识他后，我的人生便掀起了很大的改变。一切我总觉得是理所当然的事，在他眼里竟变成‘离谱’两个字。当我越把他融入我生活，我渐渐觉得超没安全感。以他那‘头壳坏掉’的脑浆所思考出来的伦理，总是让我哑口无言。

有时觉得他超有智慧，有时觉得他在耍宝。

爱他，总是有绅士风度的帮忙提东西。

爱他，虽然爱啐啐念，但总是笑着对我埋怨。^_^

我爱的他，心里正挂念着一个人。一个让他觉得已付出真心，但却无没法收回的人。他对她的爱，已远远超出我对他的。他的心，密密的包扎着，这段他放不开的爱情。却也默默地把我关在门外。虽然靠好近，却总是垮不了。有好几次，总是告诉自己，没关系，就当作另一个邂逅吧。。但心里却感到好不爽。。-_-!!

不想，也知没有资格当她的代替品，如今只希望他能开开门，让我偷看一下，他的世界是如何。。或者是否有个小角落，能够分一点给我，就ok 了。。(#^_^#)

他放不开旧爱，也不想放。

我不能不爱他，只能继续爱。

心叛逆了，怎么劝，都不听，

心受伤了，怎么止血，都不停。。

我只要你快乐...

~~Monday, October 26, 2009~~

1:09 AM

been away for qUite smtime.. gUess too lazy ba... haha..

expeCtin new posts + fOtos sOOn! kekekz =p

我只要你快乐...

~~Thursday, February 5, 2009~~

10:20 PM

sO faSt.. 1 yr le.. 31st Jan 09.. my Pa Pa 1st yr death annivesary..

Remembered how happi he was when he came back from visiting my auntys and uncle at kOta Tinggi..

Remembered how happi he was when he related where they hv been to and wat they had seen..

Remembered how happi he was to start work de next morning and askin my mum for his new clothes and shOes..

Remembered i wOke up with chicken pOx dat morning.

Remembered Pa Pa said, " Ger, if dOc cfm is chicken pOx, dUn get caught in de rain hor..."
ThOse were his last words to me..

He had always doted on me since young. Being a gd father, giving and fulling wat his children wants and needs. Knowing i'm not very gd wif books... nO matter how hard i tried.. de midnight oils i had bUrnt ( enUff to bUrn dOwn a HDB flat or my neighbOurhood) .. i cOuld onli passed wif bOrderlines..
And Pa Pa never exert pressure on me..

He dUn dO hse chOres.. dUn cOOk.. de typical tradition NAN REN in de hOuse. But he is a gd father. Remembered my mum once told me, " Pa Pa no licence. nO mOney buy car.. bUt he said will not let me lead a difficult life."

True to his prOmise to mum, wherever we go, we took taxi. Though we nOe its not cheap, deep in my heart, i nOe Pa Pa is giving his loved ones de beSt he could afford.

De days when he cycled me to tuition, bringing mum's cooked dinner and waitin for me to finish de food under the void deck.. cycling back hOme and back to fetch me when my tuition finished.. thOse were de memorable days..

In de hOspital, watching Pa Pa lying on de bed. Touching his gradually cold face. Calling for him again and again. Hoping and praying he would open his eyes and said everything's alright. But our prayers were not answered. seeing mum squatting outside and crying.. It pained my heart and i could just onli standing by de door and weep.

Right now, helping mum to be strOng. Getting her to be on her feet again. And us.

I seldom mention Pa Pa to anyone anymore.

Not dat i dun miss him.. nOt dat i Not clOse to hIm..How can i ever get over de death of my dearest Pa Pa?! But somehOw, whenever i tried to think baCk, my head became blank.. and onli de images of him lying on de hOspital bed came into my mind.. de pain was unbearable...

Reali wan to express my gratutite towards thOse ppl whO reali feel for us.. my Ah Choo ah yi, ah bee ah yi etc.. dey did alot.. sacrifice alot.. gettin misunderstood by thoSE hypocrites from Pa Pa's side of family... whO brainwashed pple ard them..

U HYPOCRITES!! U THINK WE DIN SEE THRU ALL DE THINGS U DO DURING PAPA'S WAKE?! BOTH U ALREADY HAD SO MUCH MONEY LE.. WAT ELSE U WAN?! ITS MY MUM'S STALL OK! UNDER MUM'S NAME! DE LAST THING PA PA LEFT FOR HER, FOR US! HOW CRUEL CAN U PPL BE?! U BELIEVE IN KARMA?
WAT GOES ARD COMES ARD... @#$%^&*^%$#@!#$%

Anyway, thnx for all de pple who helped us along the way.. =)

fOR Pa Pa:

Lao ba...so many images come to mind
whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in my life
things have never been the same.

Lao ba, some days I hear your voice
and turn to see your face;
Yet in my turning...it seems
the sound has been erased.

Lao ba, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your voice;
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my choice.

Please always know I love you
and no one can take your place;
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.

You Beloved Daughter

我只要你快乐...

~~Thursday, December 4, 2008~~

8:19 PM

大哭了一场，心情还是很低落。。。

哭只能显得我好脆弱。。。

从前，当我一旦感到伤心或被欺负时，就会找人得到安慰。。。

如今，因我想勇敢点，不希望成为别人的负担。。不想成为别人的困扰。。。

所以，我不再找别人。。不再借用别人的安慰，关心。。。

也不再需要别人同情的目光。。。

我只要你快乐...

~~Wednesday, December 3, 2008~~

11:07 PM

dUnno y, jUst feel beRi sad..

gOin tO bUrSt oUt cryin anytime..

i tink i need tO tOk tO someone.. badly..

sUppOsely tO be my beSt fren de.. buT seems like she gOt herself anOther fren le..

everyone has their own life.. edward sae de...

nObOdy tO tOk to.. left alOne.

我只要你快乐...

~~Sunday, November 30, 2008~~

9:38 PM

met uP wif ZhiyOng.. went singing today.. realised got 1 branCh at lOyang pOint.. niCe plc.. cOsy.. reasOnable priCe.. niCe.. =>

after dat, went collect my fOne.. dinner.. den went hOme... peaCeful dae..

我只要你快乐...

~~Saturday, November 29, 2008~~

10:18 PM

ErM.. JuST FoR memOry, went VIVO last wk. bOught lOtsa CandieS & chOco.. lUv dem.. ooPps...haha...

went cycling tOdae.. sUnny dae.. hOpe to chaSe away de unhappi memOries.. destress...relaX.. kekez...
(p.s: thnx tO Chwee Kueh for aCCOmpany me dUring my sad n tOugh timez.. =D )

YA LAR.. my fOne spOil again... tOk halfway like fOne kena drOp in tOilet bOwl.. keep havin bUbblin sOunds.. haha...

after sendin fOne fOr servICe, went daisO... bOught a sweet little sChedUle bk.. gOtta write my 2009 resOlutionz in... kekez.. will gO baCk again cOz still gOt thingz tO bUy fOr sCh & wOrk.. =>

been tO afew mOvies lately.. REC COFFIN HIGH SCH MUSICAL MADAGASCAR II BEVERLY HILLS CHIWAWA.... heehee... happi..

p.s: dUnno y.. i nOe him earlier den u, y dOes he seems like liSten to u onli..
its ok, sinCe im sUppOse to intro u tO him anywae.. haha...

eh!! samsUng jUst sms me sae my fOne ready for cOLLeCtion.. wa seh.. sO faSt meh.. dUnno gOt cheCk prOperly or nOt.. haix.. gOtta make a trip dOwn tOmolo again.. @$#%^%&%%^%$@ =(

我只要你快乐...